Okay, here's a disclaimer. I admit this is a mini-rant. And, I don't want this glimpse of thought here to make you think this is a big issue for me. The basic theme of this post is that I think that kids rise to meet the level of expectations you set for them and setting low expectations is actually doing them a disservice. I'll also let you know that my wife doesn't always agree and thinks I expect too much and can actually turn kids off by setting expectations too high.
What brought on this thought is attending a "end of year" show for all the groups in my daughters' dance class. As usual, I watch some of these performances, glance at my wife and roll my eyes. She smacks me or digs me with her elbow and gives me an exasperated look. Let me be clear, I'm not expecting professional dancing from these kids. In fact, with the little, little kids, it's great just to see them get up there and move around. They're cute and getting up in front of a gym full of parents is achievement enough. As the response to my post on my son's band concert said, it certainly helps build confidence among these little kids. But, once you get up to 6th to 8th grade kids, is it too much to expect a dance show to demonstrate that they've learned grace and coordination? Many of the kids kept looking to the others to decide what they should do and many of the kicks were uncoordinated. Many also seemed like they were going through the moves of the dance without really looking graceful or limber. I know I'm repeating myself, but I assure you I'm not looking for perfection. It's just that all the parents are payingto have these kids learn dance (and in this case paying to attend this performance but that's the subject of a different rant) and it's the time to demonstrate that they're learning something.
I remember some years ago, my son was in an acting class. The teacher of the class insisted that he was good enough to do a monologue. So, during the "final show," he got up there on stage all by himself and delivered a memorized monologue that was funny, interesting, and well acted. The following year he took another acting class and this time, although he said he was going to do a monologue, on the day of the show he never did. When I asked him why after the show, he said, "Oh, the teacher said that if we didn't feel comfortable, we didn't have to do it." Obviously, he was nervous (he was nervous the first time too), but this time the teacher was trying to be "cooperative" and "understanding" and "nice" and said the kids didn't have to do anything that they didn't feel confident about. So, he didn't. The entire show was awful. NONE of the kids had memorized any lines and almost all of them walked on stage for their "skits" with their scripts and simply read the lines with no expression, no feeling, and definitely with no attempt at acting. It was amazing to me how these kids (some of whom were actually in the earlier class with my son) actually did much worse their second time on stage than their first.
As a teacher, I have been "speaking publicly" for over 15 years now. The day I stop feeling nervous before my first day of class is the day I'll realize I've lost my passion for teaching and stopped caring about the kids I teach. To give the kids in the acting class the option of not delivering their lines if they felt nervous is, in my mind, setting low expectations and doing them a disservice. I think the kids learned the wrong lesson that day.
I'll get off my soap box now ...
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