The Path to Happiness Pt. 1

Now before I get people inflamed, let me start with a disclaimer. This post is meant to be introspective and not prescreptive in any way. That is, I am in no way qualified to advice anyone on happiness. This is just my "journal entry" on something that worked for me.

In true "infomercial" style, let me tell you what I used to be like. I was one of the many who would slam my hand on the steering wheel and curse (under my breath) when I was cut off by some careless driver. Hitting a series of red lights when I was in a hurry would get me fuming and (occasionally) even blaming the lights. While these were never serious impairments, my breakthrough came when I read one of the many quotes my great-grandfather used to print on holiday cards he sent to friends. It's something you've all seen or read: Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference (attributed variously to people including St. Francis of Assissi). It suddenly hit me that when I curse at the old lady talking on the cell phone while driving or even more ridiculously yell at the traffic light for turning red, I am affecting no one but myself! It really hit me that there is NO point in getting frustrated at something or someone if it is having NO effect on them. I'm not kidding, it really made a difference (now this is sounding like a paid announcement). Now really, every time I find myself getting angry or frustrated at something, I stop and ask myself if this frustration is doing anything other than putting me in a bad mood. If not, I have the option of either doing something to change the target of my frustration or letting it go.

Now, it has even got to the point of being weird. I remember a time when I was (again) in a hurry to get somewhere and ran into a red light. The moment I hit the steering wheel and cursed (and I mean something as terrible as "damn those damn lights"), I realized what was happening and burst out laughing. I got to my destination late, but in a good mood. It even works when I get frustrated with people. I realize there's no point in getting angry and frustrated if the other person is oblivious to my anger. I'm doing just the opposite of achieving my objective. The person causing the anger is happy and doing fine while I sit and stew and mess up my day. So, if I'm not prepared to confront the person, I just let it go and actually force myself to stop getting angry.

That's weird, isn't it? But hey, it works for me. I find myself more happy than not and if I'm so angry that I can't let it go, I confront the person with my problem. So, my "path to happiness, part 1" is simply to either let people know exactly what they're doing that's bugging you or just drop it and not let it bug you at all. Easy!