Adventurousness at a young age

There's no denying that we are all conditioned to have preferences. Things that are familiar to us and that we grew up with will usually be looked upon more fondly than something completely unfamiliar. I'm thinking specifically about food preferences. There's actual research somewhere that demonstrated that irrespective of how good or bad a cook someone is, the kids often look fondly back on "mom's cooking" and identify at least one dish that their mom made "perfectly" (even though others may not have found that dish to be particularly well made.)

Anyway, that's not my point. I wonder whether a person's open-mindedness to trying (and liking) new foods can be encouraged or adjusted during childhood. I noticed that my kids are generally quite dismissive of completely unfamiliar foods. I take them to a great restaurant in France and they are more likely to order hamburgers than goose liver paté. Sometimes, when I really egg them on, they'll take a small bite and immediately declare (before it has even been given a chance to rest on their tongue an instant), "I don't like it." The reason I started thinking about this was that I spent a few days in Italy with my brothers' kids (about the same general age as my kids). The 12-year-old was extremely adventurous in his choice of foods. At restaurants, he would order something that seemed quite unfamiliar (e.g., lamb cutlets milanese style) and attack these foods with great enthusiasm when they arrived at the table. Without any urging, he would ask his Dad what he had ordered and ask for a taste with a statement like "I wonder what that tastes like, can I try some?" He actually avoided the widely available pizza in Italy with a comment to the effect "Oh, that's too boring, I can get that anywhere" before ordering something more esoteric.

This came across to me as very mature and sophisticated and I wondered how I can wean my kids away from the burger and pizza approach to trying foods when away from home and get them to want to try new foods and make an effort to actually like them. That is, I want them to assume it must be good food if it is popular in the country they're visiting and assume they will like it unless consistently proven otherwise. Is there anything I can do to get them to actually develop a taste for unfamiliar foods?

If I find an answer, I'll try it on my wife too! :)

Screeching Ladies Can Be Beautiful

It is probably not surprising to most of you that the more you know about something, the more you learn to appreciate it. I can point to hundreds of examples in my own life where I have disliked something and scoffed at people who like it only to learn more over time and then become one of those very people I scoffed at. When I moved to the US, I smugly smirked at people who watched football wondering how they could waste three hours watching fat men just smack into each other with no particular goal. I recall branding football as a slow-moving, pointless game. That's before a friend of mine bothered to sit with me at games and explain exactly what was going on. Today, I'm known to be one of the most vocal football fans around. There are hundreds of music artists I disliked and labeled "lousy musicians" until I learned more about the musicians and their background which made me appreciate their music much more. The list goes on and on. Even on societal and political issues, I have consistently discovered that despite easily making judgments about people and things based on what I read in the media, there is almost always more to the story. Digging deeper into almost any story will reveal that it is not as simple as the media makes it out to be. People are not as foolish (or smart) as they are made out to be. Reality is much more complex.

As a result, I have now moved to this extreme of "non-judgmentalism." I can't stand people who make broad judgmental statements about athletes, politicians, Americans, French, parenting, behavior, etc. because I always believe that these judgements are far too often based on incomplete information. The more you know, the more you can appreciate is my motto.

The latest event to reinforce this belief is my change of heart on my historically flippant comments about opera. I always thought opera to be weird. I mean, why do these women scream at such high pitches? How can you listen to hours of people screeching at high volumes where you can't understand the words?

In Milan last week, I went to see La Traviata at La Scala. My brother (who was paying for the tickets) insisted that I learn about the opera before going for the show. He gave me a short (about 60 minutes) CD that introduced and explained the opera. It didn't just outlnie the story, but provided some historical context of opera in general, the historical and societal context of this opera, some background on Guiseppe Verdi, etc. Then, it went through the opera act by act explaining not just the story, but also the singing and elements of the singing to watch for. After the show, I was a complete convert. It isn't screeching but an astonishing control of voice as a musical instrument. The elaborate sets, overacting and drama all make sense if you understand how opera developed as musical theater and who it was intended for.

I learned to appreciate and love the music. So much so that I ordered two versions of the opera on CD (should be arriving this week). I think I'll start seeking out more opera opportunities. This is why I love learning so much. The more you learn, the more you can appreciate. The unfortunate side effect of this is that you tend to see all sides to every story. If I ever ran for office, I would be the ultimate "waffler" or "flip flopper" and actually proud of it!

Bag Found In Time for Return

I left for Milan on July 10 and discovered to my relief that Northwest Airlines/KLM is better at ferrying people around the world than baggage. I guess I should consider myself fortunate that they were able to keep track of me and ensure I reached my destination safely.

My one and only checked in bag did not share my good fortune. Not only did my bag not make it on to the flight to Milan, but NW/KLM had no real idea where it was. On arrival in Italy, I was told that it was in Amsterdam and it would be there that evening or the next day. Three days later, I was told that the only thing they knew for sure was that the bag never left Detroit. Another three days later, they admitted that they had no idea where my bag was.

I don't get it. In these days of heightened security, wouldn't someone notice a bag lying anywhere in an airport untouched for several days? Surely baggage handlers must have a minimal amount of criosity regarding this lonely bag lying untouched in a corner? Wouldn't someone stepping on the large garment bag on their way in and out of work start wondering after a few days whether it is worth checking to see if the bag is supposed to be just lying around there?

Well baggage handlers are apparently not a curious lot. After almost completely giving up hope on this bag eveer being found, I got a call on July 17 saying that the bag had been found and would be delivered to me that night. I spent the evening waiting for the bag only to be crushed in diappointment again. Finally, mid-day on July 18, my bag was delivered in one piece. The only problem was that I was leaving Italy for my return to the USA on July 21.

So, I did have two days to enjoy my shaver, tooth brush, and clean underwear.

Dormancy

Usually, when I travel, I have a ton of things to talk about (review my recent Poland trip posts). However, my whole blogging deal assumes easy and regular access to the Internet. After I returned from Poland, I was so overwhelmed at work, that I ignored this blog for a while. Then, I headed off to Milan for a conference and assumed I would restart this blog. However, despite staying at a decent hotel right in Milan which is costing me 150 euros a night, they do not have internet access in the rooms!

And I DO have a lot to write about. Most importantly my miserable adventures with Northwest Airlines. I have been in Milan 4 days now and I have NO BAGS. Northwest-KLM cannot find them anywhere and cannot tell me when they may be delivered.

I just decided to check my email and noticed Tom Dooley's comment on this blog's apparent death. Tom, the problem is Internet access. I promise to post my whole bag adventure here the moment I get reliable internet access late at night when I don't have to sit in the lobby to access email.

The notices of this blog's death were premature.

Clothes On The Floor

As I sit at the computer right now, I'm seething.

I truly do not understand why it is so difficult to take your dirty clothes (as you take them off) and put them down the laundry chute that is six steps away from your room. All three of my kids have inherited my wife's comfort level with living in a mess.

I just argued with my son who has his entire floor covered with clothes. I asked him what these clothes were and why they were on the floor and he rather indignantly replied that they're supposed to be on the floor because they're dirty. I do not get it. When I take any article of clothing off, I hold them in my hands or have them nearby in order to drop them down the laundry chute. It is not a difficult task. More importantly, I do not understand how his room can even get to that stage of messiness. I mean, surely when these kids walk into their rooms and see the floor covered with clothes, some rational thoughts go through their heads wondering why the entire floor is covered with clothes. I'm not talking about one or two items. But, can you explain to me how you can walk into a room where the floor is covered with dirty clothes (again and again and again) and not even notice that they need to be disposed off appropriately (with the relatively effortless act of flinging them down a laundry chute)?

There must be some research into this ...

First Born Intelligence

It looks like latest research supports something I've believed for a while based on anecdotal evidence. In generally, in families with multiple children, the first born ends up being more intelligent not because of genetics but because of the way their parents treat them.

It's hard for a fish to see the water it lives in. But, I often hear comments from relatives (okay, mainly my Mom) that I seem to be harder on my eldest son than I am on the other kids. While I often brush away these comments, sometimes, when confronted with specific examples, I see how I might expect more from him than I expect from the other kids. It is so easy to compare his performance with the other kids and demand that he meet a higher standard than the others because he's "so much older."

I think it's unfair, but at least I can now rest easy knowing that it's for his good in the long run! :-)

What Will You Have Done At The End of Today?

I know this is a problem I have, but I can't seem to get out of the trap and it's coloring my perceptions of other people. Sometimes I think it's unfair, but at other times I wonder whether people really are relatively inefficient users of time.

Enough with being cryptic. I'm talking about the fact that I'm a list maker. I have so many things going on and so many tasks that need to be completed that I'm completely driven by my Outlook calendar. If it doesn't get on my calendar, it doesn't get done. Every little task that needs to be done must be scheduled on my calendar. I actually use my calendar as a "To Do List" of sorts. Because I'll often schedule a task during any empty spot on my schedule and not actually do it at that time. However, it then gets on my reminder list automatically and pops up whenever I open Outlook at the start of every day. So, even if I didn't complete a task, it stares me in the face every day all day.

The interesting thing is that when I don't actually fill up my calendar with tasks, I still keep busy doing lots of things (I'm never just sitting idle wondering what to do), but I don't get anything important done on those days. I stay busy, but at the end of the day, I realize I got very little done. As a result, I have started to dislike people who don't maintain a clear To Do list of what they want to achieve that day. I believe that they essentially end up being completely unproductive during the day. They stay "busy" and feel that they're oh so busy, but don't really get any projects done. I think if you don't set clear goals of what you're going to achieve each day, you'll end up finding ways to fill up your time with inefficient nonsense. If you don't have a clearly defined set of tasks for each hour of the day, it is easy to keep busy and then not make any headway on your major projects. It's not that I'm never behind. In fact, as I said, I often don't get things done during the scheduled time slots since numerous other things crop up each day. However, when that happens, because it is now an ongoing reminder, I know when I'm behind and then schedule times at night or weekends to catch up. If you don't have the task list, you could end up not getting much work done on major projects and not lose any sleep over it. You still watch TV, putter around and relax (because you've worked so hard getting nothing done during the day), get to bed early, and wake up the next day with a fresh goal of nothing.

If you don't know exactly what you're going to get done each day or week, that's exactly what you'll get done.